“like a shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned lovin'”

December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 July 2014 September 2014 December 2014 January 2015 December 2015 March 2016

So, I was admitted. To that one course that I am dying to gain admission to. However, fate has it's own way of paving my life. I am truly honored to be admitted, and be given a measly sum of scholarship. After much thoughts, I am pretty much set on rejecting the offer. I guess the fact that I was admitted would have to sustain me for my life. The course is simply too expensive. Yes, yes. I can definitely beg, borrow or steal to get into the life. Is it worth it? That has been the question I have been dealing with.

My previous post, was on the qualms of selecting this course. My doubts on the worthiness of this course for my personal sacrifices. The uncertainty of leaving everything I have ever known for a clean slate, a new mindset, to broaden my horizon. I guess now, factoring in the actual tangible cost tips me over to burying this plan.

On one end, there will come a day that I will regret not embarking on this soul-searching journey. On the other, I will also regret missing the major milestones of my loved ones. Ultimately which matters more, I am not able to foresee yet.

At the start of the application process, I chose two paths. Global Health where I take on the adventure of life and all that I have missed out, growing up, or Public Health where I start to pave my career and my adult life. I spoke to many and I told many. Financial aid would be the deciding factor. I guess, I got my answer. If it is meant to be, I will be able to get the exposure I dreamed of, Master's or not.

I had about one week to daydream of my new path. One week to envision getting sufficiently funded for this new life of mine. Excitement. No doubt. Also, nostalgia. It is not just FOMO. I was mentally dealing with the shift in lifestyles, dealing with changes in my relationship with Herman. I was pretty sure we will work it out or at least try. My favorite people were the one that hit me with this wave of nostalgia. I have after all built my entire adulthood around them. I worked hard for my applications, but we all worked harder to keep this bunch of friends as family.

Back to life-building, dreams-resculpturing processes.

It's almost Christmas! The last time I blogged was a year back. One year just passed by me, and my frequency of posting reduced to null. So, on 2015. Well, I'm behind all my resolution.

No, I did not learn anything on my harmonica. No, I did not keep up with my savings. No, I did not keep up with my workout hours goal. And no, I am not admitted into any school. However, I did clear off my debt, which is a major yay, though I'm pretty sure my debt free moments will end pretty soon cause of my want for graduate school. And I did consistently go for yoga though I almost stopped running, which I actually miss a lot. And I did send out my first application and in the midst of my second. So on the overall, I am a work in progress.

Next year will be a huge year. A year of more applications, a year of endings, and hopefully a year of beginning. perhaps by then I would be admitted to one of those few programmes I'm applying for. I hope I would have the strength not pull through without an ounce of regret. Here's the tricky part. The one programme that I am dying to be admitted to, scares the living daylights out of me. It is not the challenges of the programme that leads to this jitterbug dance of mine. Rather, what lies ahead. Graduation. The working world. This programme may lead me to live a few years out of this nest that I sought to build for 8 years. And truly, what scares me most is, after this flight, I may never return as the same person I was. Which is entirely the reason why I chose this path in the first place. But sometimes, you never know if you're making the right decision. Especially so when all that you now possess is almost everything you ever wanted.

I guess, I will leave it all to fate. I'll do my best in getting admitted and should it be in my fate to pursue it, I'll be admitted. Happy holidays!!!

2015. A new year and a new topic bogs all conversations over dinner. Weddings. We still discuss travel and work. But weddings are taking a significant bulk of the conversation now. It's freaky how it's creeping into our lives so slowly but surely. Distant pals start getting married. You smile a little as you watch them join as a team over a vow. Then there will be a time when you tear a little (or a lot) as they join as a team and you slowly bid farewell to a pal you once knew. 



It seems like I have last blogged ten years ago. Life has been good though GRE is taking a toll on me. It is pretty demoralizing to see my quantitative skills deteriorating in such manner. I used to be the Princess of Math, if not the Queen of Math. I KID. But, full marks for math till the end of secondary school, hey you gotta give me some credit for that. Sigh. Ah well, what do you expect right. Considering the only quantitative work I have done most in the past seven years was GST and discounts.

Been on leave for about 5 days now. It feels like I am working from home. Though I only check my email in the morning, so technically, it's nothing like working from home. GRE may be a pain in the ass. But in return for that large headache, I'm actually regaining my inner peace. This sounds like a temporary inner peace before I vacillate again. But whatever works right? Right now, my days with him pretty much feel like how it was before. Better perhaps. Considering that he's matching my effort now compared to then.

The weekend was fun. With our boot camp. Peaceful. During the day at least. Having to just lie on the ground with drinks, snacks, ukulele, songs and really good company. The night was more eventful, with slight rain and tiny sleeping space. It was a good experience nonetheless. And if there is one thing that matches Chumie's passion to cycle, would be my passion for camping. I'm really considering an investment in tent. Yes, the term investment is being used wrongly here. Maybe I should start of with a sleeping bag first. I had a really good Coleman sleeping bag last time. But it was a shared purchase with Yan Ren, so he kept it. Note to all, do not share a purchase with your boy if you like the item more!

Enough with the babbles. Back to GRE vocab.